I wish I had the balls to post this on Facebook, where people would probably actually see it, but oh well.
Dear people at my high school and whoever else this applies to,
I can understand how you guys don’t understand it when you hear something about me wanting kids, trust me. Even someone I thought was a good friend of mine didn’t.
First off I would like to say that just because I’m dating a girl does not mean its impossible for me to get pregnant. Obviously not by her, but there are plenty of options we are given. And now, here is where we get to the reason I’m writing this.
None of you know my life. Even people I thought knew my life, don’t. I’ve grown up in a life of carelessness you could say. My mom and dad were never married. We lived in a small apartment, my dad, mom, sister, and me. My parents had a very violent, non-private fight in the kitchen one night, resulting in them breaking up. I remember the whole thing, in fact that is my first full memory as a child. Wonderful right? Well after that I got to see my dad every other weekend, because he works 2nd shift, so I lived with my mom. She always had boyfriends and boyfriends. My mom was neglectful, usually to benefit herself sexually. My mom eventually got married, but that didn’t make no happy family. They constantly fought, sometimes even blaming me for their problems. They also often resulted in it being physical. He even choked her once because he wanted her check book. Shortly after, my mom got pregnant, then getting pregnant again a couple months later. That’s when I learned how to take care of my brother and sister. My mom pushed it into our life that her kids were our responsibility pretty much. She abused her power. I would say a year or two later my mom and her husband got divorced and that’s when she started to move us all around. We lived with my grandmother because we couldn’t afford a place to stay, then we moved here and there. Sometimes we moved depending on who she was dating. The rest of my life just went down hill. As I got older my mom saw it as an opportunity, where she could have me stay home and watch her kids as much as she wanted. Watching kids, taking midnight trips to different states to see her boyfriends, seeing and hearing my mom fuck her numerous boyfriends over the years. Lets just say my mom never knew how to parent. As for today, me and my mom don’t speak with each other.
Please enlighten me on how it’s stupid of me wanting to get pregnant at 17, because I don’t see it in my case.
I was never given the love and affection I expected to be given from my mother, but I somehow learned to give it. I’ve always been an affectionate, loving, non-judge mental person and I’ve always wanted to give someone that love.
Today, when I think about having a baby, it makes my heart skip a beat. The thought of being nothing like my mother is my life goal and so far I have succeeded. I want to give my baby the love and affection that it deserves and that I never got. I want to give someone that unconditional love. I know I’d be a great mommy, although I have standards. You guys looking from the outside are thinking, “what the hell, this 17 year old girl wants to get pregnant?!” Now tell me why I shouldn’t? Me and my girlfriend would be parenting our child just like your parents did for you, we would give them everything they need and as much as we can of what they want. We’ll love it unconditionally. Support it, you name it. So what’s wrong with that?
We may not have money to have a child right at this moment and that’s not our plan, but yes it is in our plan to have one hopefully in the near future. But don’t you even let it cross your mind that our child wouldn’t be raised right.
My heart aches when I think of having a child, because I really want it so badly and I wish I could explain it fully. My heart desires it. I’m ready, I’m mature enough to raise a child.
Now go ahead, compare me being pregnant at 17 and some girl who got knocked up at 17. Please, tell me the difference, because there is a big one. May 23